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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in spot's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, March 1st, 2016
6:52 pm
Bonus points.
I was in my shed about an hour ago. I heard my neighbor dude yell "SPOT!" as he often does. I was fueling up the snowblower for the first time since last winter. He asked why his driveway wasn't done (it was my turn.)

Told him. I was just about to start, waiting for it to finish snowing some more. He asked why I didn't get his out. I have a key to his garage and his is bigger. I like mine.

About ten minutes later he caught me doing other neighbor lady's drive way on his way out. Stops his car and says "I see, you trying to steal my bonus points."

The irony of that statement: She wasn't home. If I had used his snow blower, then she would have thought he did it. She knows the difference between our snowblower tracks. He was trying to steal my bonus points indirectly.
Thursday, October 29th, 2015
11:56 pm
Work summary.
In the last few months a lot has changed, but everything is the same.

Our DM was a good guy. He is the reason I have a job, get paid decently, and made sure our GMs over the years kept my hours up. I know this because AssMan told me this in a bar after work one night. I never really knew.

[all of this was/is out of order. Moving this timeline up in hopes that it will make this easier to follow.]

End of 2001 hired into current location.
'05-'06 worked current location and Hell about 50/50
'07 promoted to Facility Manager of a third location.
'08 They closed my location and the 4th location. Went to Hell full time.
End of '08 transferred back to current location.
'12 offered FM position in Hell for double my pay said "No f****** way in hell am I ever going back there." Was forced to take a few shifts anyway.
'14 After three months of badgering, harassment and threats.Kept telling them "No." DM came to my office and I was given relatively large raise to go to Hell once per week.

2008/9: When I transferred from Hell, the GM was a psychopath. I still loved my job. If I took a few minutes to check what machines I had time to work on, he would scream at me to do something or leave. This was after doing more in six hours than the average technician does in a month. Couldn't even take a 30 second water break w/o getting attacked. It was still better than Hell.

This guy eventually took me off the schedule. Wouldn't tell me if it was for a week, for the summer, or permanent. Kept repeating "We don't have hours." I just needed to know whether I should find a job, or just relax for a few weeks.

He got 'promoted' to a DM position in another district soon after my layoff or firing. I went back to work. Everything was cool.

A few months ago: They closed another center. Our DM got eliminated and they expanded the district of the slave-driver.

A few weeks ago someone mentioned he was a great guy. I disagreed. I eventually figured out that he was only an asshole to me. The entire time he was screaming at me, no one else was expected to do much of anything. Apparently, he joked around and was a 'fun guy' with everyone else.

When I took the transfer in '08, I was under the impression that everyone wanted me here. I am the best at what I do. I assumed he was an asshole to everyone. Because my whole department wanted me here, I never made the connection that he probably wanted me to quit. He was being lied to about me from the guy who wanted my hours. Not to do the job, just to get the pay.

This made me rethink Hell.

The reasons Hell was Hell:
My shifts were noon to close then back really early. Twice per week. I was supposed to stay in the back alone. 36 straight hours of being alone, on no sleep, with no food. Twice per week. The end of the second and beginning of the third day of the four day work week were exactly 24 hours apart.

-Sleep deprivation.
-Verbal abuse over the paging system.

Never really thought about it; The $10,000 pay cut to go there, and that my boys were babies at the time, both played a big part in making it Hell.

Other huge factor; The GM hired a guy who wasn't qualified. I was supposed to train him to do the job I got demoted from, so he could be my boss.

Up until March (one whole year since I started going on Mondays) I couldn't eat nor sleep for days at a time thinking about having to go back. The GM, who was actually pretty nice and didn't even realize my shifts were torture, was canned somewhere between my 2012 and 2014 contracts. DM told me at one point that it had to do with the same thing he did to me. [Assuming he was referring to the time he told me "If you screw up you deserve to die." and tried to get me to agree to that. But, it could have been about the thing where people get write-ups for random things that they didn't do and wouldn't make sense anyway. Or could have been a number of other things.]

Now that I know why that place makes me want to die, it isn't as bad. The 12.5 hour shifts they had me on were killing me. But I got out of those last month.


Asshole DM has been in town a few times. Seen him, but he pretends I am not there. I pretty much walk away and ignore him anyway.

Old DM has been back to Hell a bunch of times the first month. Still in shock. When you lose a job that was your life for several years, it takes a long time to adapt.

Two Face. I never mentioned it, but he came from the other center that closed the same time mine did.

Kitchen Girl quit last week. I really hadn't seen her much in the last year anyway. I don't think I am going to randomly stop and say "I miss Kitchen Girl."

Weird twist of events: GM of the place I was FM at transferred From Michigan to Florida just to keep his job when we closed. He was my GM in my current location when I was first hired, as well. He recently came to work in Hell as a technician. He had that position in Florida, but the machines were completely different there. I am helping train him to do my job, after I had done the job for him for most of the first seven years of my career.

I am doing OK. Just haven't had energy nor motivation to work on any of my own stuff for a long time. I am starting to get a little of it back. I actually felt good in Hell for a few minutes a couple weeks ago. Don't expect it to happen again, but it is a possible start to not hating my life when I am there.


Based on my writings, it probably sounds like my corporation is horrible. They really are like one big family to me. If I didn't love them, or if I didn't like the job itself, I wouldn't be here.
Wednesday, January 28th, 2015
3:03 am
Showed up to the Country Club about 40 minutes late. Which is about average for me now. I stopped setting an alarm clock. Can't sleep right knowing I have to go there anyway. About once every hour and a half I look at the clock. Missed McD's or BK's breakfast by about one minute. Assistant manager gets mad but quickly realizes being mad about that is stupid. I shouldn't be going at all.

Lot of stupid crap. Oil lanes for high school matches. Then again for the leagues. No real maintenance nor repairs. Just babysitting machines and telling them to work when they stop.

There is a guy that bowls every Monday. There is usually a point where he is the only customer in the building. He always talks with me about my job and random crap. There is no one else around. He is retired. Not sure why he goes there, not sure why he is alone, nor why he wants to talk with me. I try to treat him like I would treat a customer at the other center.

[Over the years I have met a lot of customers that go out alone. A lot of employees get annoyed by them. I figure they were stuck home alone and couldn't take it anymore. I talk to a guy people refer to as 'Creepy Dave.' Comes in all the time. I usually don't have time for him, but talk about random junk anyway. You can't expect a 20-something year old waitress to understand, nor care, what he is going through. Their mentality is: Take order. Serve food and/or drink. Take money and tip. Repeat.]

ANYWAY: Nearly eight hours into a twelve hour shift at a place that I didn't want to be. Just finished getting the lanes ready for the league. Up until last week, I had them done hours in advance. These two weeks, lane usage prevented that. A girl said to a guy "Where are my balls?" Twice. It was all in the tone. It was both; 'you are responsible for bringing my bowling balls, where are they?' and 'why don't I have balls?' ('quick, find my balls!') I had to smile for the first time ever. I didn't offer to help her find them in my office.

That made my day.

At the end of the night Counter Girl said "See you next week." I don't remember her ever saying that before. I said "I hope not." Looked a little shocked at first, then realized what I meant. "...probably will." she said that I would be there. I am not lucky enough to get fired or die before then. I can smile about this now because I know the end is coming. I just hope I don't miss the place when I am out.
I went through some 7-10 year old entries at random. My favorite ones are the random 'this was the highlight of my day.' posts. Little things that you wouldn't normally consider worth writing about end up being the best. I sort-of remember them happening. Memory would be gone forever if it weren't written on LJ. Wish I had a record of who some of these people were. Maybe some more details about the stuff that seemed completely un-important at the time, too.
Thursday, October 23rd, 2014
2:51 pm
The Cat.
Beginning of August. The Wife's grandma died.

She lived about 50 miles away so we didn't go there too often. It wasn't so far that we never went either. Last three years you would see cat food and a litter box. Someone would always whisper the question "does she have a cat?" and the answer would be "Dunno, never saw one here."

Earlier this year she moved in with my Father In Law. He lives about five miles from here. Turns out there was a cat. About three years old and 17lbs. All black with a little white on his chest. Normally shy cat decided it liked me.

They didn't want the cat. After the rabbit left us, we ended up with him. Found out his name was Peepers. Shy black cat, all you would see is his eyes. He is odd. Spent his life living with a 90 year old lady. His habits reflect that. If someone is reading, or watching a movie, he will sneak up and get on your lap. That is his favorite place to sleep. No one in our house is inactive enough to let a cat sleep on them. I have woken up on the couch with him sleeping on me a couple times.

We have had mice off and on since we bought this house. We got our house sealed up pretty good. Went without any real mouse problems for at least 5-6 years. Not sure how, but we started getting them again in the last couple years. Peepers finds mice and plays with them. He seems to have lost a bunch of weight since he has been with us.

I have never had a cat walk up to me and pet me before. He will put a paw on my arm or chest and look at it while moving it down. He will do that a few times in a row. Is this normal?
1:58 am
Labor day weekend.
Twelve day work week. Thursday through Monday is my normal work week. Tuesday I went in to cover a shift for someone. Wednesday I went in for a short time. Thursday through Monday again.
Friday: After work Girl... I will have to go back and see if I ever gave her a name in another post... she sent me a message at 1AM. Must have been before we started closing at 1. I ended up going to meet her at a bar.

Tuesday: This should have been it's own post. The Girl and I were talking about going to get the rabbit vegetables and some groceries. Neither of us had the motivation to get ready. The rabbit jumped on The Girl's lap. Sat there for about a half hour. He suddenly freaked out and ran into the dining room. Fell over and died. If it happened while we were at the store, we never would have known about the seizure. The Girl may have assumed The Boys did something.

Thursday: Got home from work and saw another FB message from Girl asking if I had to work. Message was from hours before, but you never know. I answered that I had just got out. Left FB open in another tab. About a half hour later she came on saying she was just getting out and asked me to go out there to shoot pool. She had always come to my city. I went to this small town 20 miles south of here.

Three games of pool. One tall Perrin, one short Miller or something. I told her I made BLT's on Wednesday. Held a piece of lettuce that I had torn off to make it fit on the sandwich. Just stared at it. I was in the habit of throwing outer layers and scraps of lettuce on the floor. This happened a few times. I already missed pulling Dandelions and clover to throw it in the house. Made that little furball so happy.

Went to another bar down the street. Had a Rum & Coke. People were singing Karaoke. It was nice. Talked in the parking lot with some people for a little while. Got on the highway to go home. Going 70 in a 70 passing The Police. I got pulled over just for being on the road at that time going in a direction away from the casino. Odd thing is this was 3:30AM. Didn't realize it was that late. Bars are required to stop serving at 2AM. They obviously didn't.

Long story short: I got out of jail just in time get to work five minutes early. Guess it had been raining all day. I was standing on the corner in pouring rain waiting 20 minutes for a cab thinking "I have a convertible in impound with the top down." but I was smiling because it was a great night. Turned out impound (10 miles North of jail) had it in a garage and The Taxi Guy gave me the name of a lawyer who plays golf with the judges.
Wednesday, October 22nd, 2014
2:41 pm
Solar power.
Looked this up again because our new electric meters send information through the phone line. You can get an hour by hour graph of your electric usage. Apparently it might only cost about $5000 to (legally) never have an electric bill again. Used to be too expensive to even consider it. South roof gets full sun all day. Cheap 45 watt panel system does amazing in the shade. 2 or 3kW system in full sun should be enough to both; run my house and to store or sell enough to cover night time and overcast days. Not sure if my city allows grid tie in systems.
Friday, August 22nd, 2014
2:56 pm
At least they have a sense of humor.

Used bowling pins used to get picked up to get recycled into 'birthday pins.' recoated to look like new. Not strong enough to be used as bowling pins, but they would have Mickey Mouse or something printed on them and "Happy Birthday" to be signed by kids for their party.

Years ago they stopped doing that. They wanted me to just throw them out. Didn't care where they went, probably didn't even think about the need to get rid of them.

The Wife started getting tables at the gun and knife shows. $45 for the table for the whole weekend. About $30 to borrow father in law's truck... (gas and a few beers.) Got $25/case or $3 per pin. People love shooting at them for target practice. I was told they can take 400 rounds before they are useless.

We got all new pins this year. Only happens about once every three years. I had over 100 cases of used pins. Got a bunch of them home. August show (last week) wasn't great. Made enough for supplies, table, truck and to get another table for the big show in October. Plus a little to make it worth going. Also, it got the word out people will talk about it and come back for more. (October, last year, we made about $700 or so.)

GM asked how many cases we had left. When I said "about 30" he freaked out. No one told me he planned to sell them. I told him I was usually asked to 'make them disappear' and I was told to go ahead and take them last month. He said he had someone willing to buy all we had and that "it was going to be HUNDREDS of dollars." Kept putting emphasis on hundreds. I had to hold back from telling him I was going to sell them for THOUSANDS of dollars.

He said to make it so he has 50 cases by Monday, and he will forget about the rest. I have to bring 13.2 cases back to work. I think I have about 30-35 left for the October show after that.
Saturday, August 2nd, 2014
11:46 am
What is new?
There is this girl I see once in a while. Her name is Danny... I have been calling her Billie. I think that I knew her name was Danny. Not sure if I spent two months calling her the wrong name, or randomly started recently. It is weeks at a time I don't see her.

Monday: I was in the back of a golf-cart a few times. Driver (Assistant Manager) started racing through the parking lot weaving around light poles. Then mentioned the one good thing about this place is driving the golf carts around. I said "No. The one good thing about this place is you don't have to worry about breaking rules. The worst could happen is you get fired." I spent seven years telling this lady that I do not want to be there. They know I am not there by choice and try to test me every week to see if it changed.

It is getting better. I no longer get the feeling of "If I die before Monday, I don't have to go back." nor the feeling of "There is no highlight to my week to make it worth being around Monday."

Seems like no matter what I do, they still want me. Everything they ask for gets done quickly and without big drawn out discussion of details. They don't get that with the other guys. I make it clear that I will not smile nor be nice. Go in, do the job, get out as soon as possible.

Things I do, that I can't at the other place:
-Never in work uniform. One day I wore a Hawaiian shirt the entire nine hours.
-Ran a golf cart into a wall on my first day, in front of the GM.
-Take a paid lunch break every shift... just get in my car and leave without telling anyone.
-Sometimes I just leave and go to the store without saying anything.
-Slalom racing in the back of a golf cart, as mentioned earlier.
-Usually spend a few hours near the end of my shift napping, or throwing a basketball in the hoop over my office door.
-Never put a lock on the machines before going on them. Often don't bother to turn them off.

None of this stuff is really bad. I just lack the imagination to do anything major. I don't really want to get fired. It isn't bad once I am there. It is the thinking about having to go, when I am not there, that kills me.
Friday, July 11th, 2014
1:34 pm
Spot got profiled.
Police: "Stopped you because you were going a little fast down 28th st."
spot: "It is a 45 isn't it?" Pointing at sign directly in front of us.
Police: "Yep."
spot: "Speedometer didn't show I was going too fast." (If you say any number, even 50, it is admitting you knew you were over the posted limit.)
Police: "About 53. We are out checking for OWI. You haven't been drinking, have you?"
spot: "I just got out of work." (Didn't say "not yet" would have been epic.)
Police: "Fair enough. Verbal warning. Here is your stuff."
This took literally two minutes. Fastest traffic stop I ever had.
Monday, July 7th, 2014
1:00 am
Through some twist of events I ended up downtown watching the fireworks alone. That has never happened before. Not sure how to describe it to people who haven't had kids for so long that they can't remember not having them.

Basically, I was supposed to go to work. I was about to. Then realized; It is a nice day. Work is not going to be busy. Didn't have anything to do at work that can't wait. I haven't been feeling appreciated at work anyway. Fireworks are tonight.

So I called and ask if they felt they really needed me. Then I called The Wife about four times to see where they were. She 'didn't hear her phone.' I went downtown. Walked across the bridge. Through the park both ways. Walked the river paths (we had been sitting at river level or under bridges for the last few years.) Not necessarily looking for the family, odds were against that, but anyone I knew. Ran into Shift Manager and her Fiance. Ended up sitting alone under the Varnum building.

Didn't bother me any. Really good view and not insanely crowded. Lots of people camp out all day to reserve a spot on the bridge, or in the park. I really don't see how it is worth it. Guess The Family were in the park on the other side of the hill. In a place people start sitting on blankets at noon or earlier.

Cool thing: this sculpture, an icon of the city, at street level... I asked a couple people that lived here their whole lives and they didn't know either. This whole block has an under-ground 4 level parking garage under it. This was my third time parking almost directly under this sculpture, and I never knew. I came out a bus-stop looking booth and it felt like the beginning of </i>Get Smart.</i> Government garage. First time I parked there the whole city was crowded, garages were all full. I swear I had the only car on the entire level. Like something out of a movie. This time there were a bunch of other cars, but not as many as you would expect this close to an event with that many people.

Weird thing: Walking back to the car. Doing a good job of not running into people in the middle of thousands of them. Didn't feel any crowd-anxiety the entire night. My main fear down-town is not being able to find my car. Sounds stupid, and never actually had a problem... it gets in my head when I am parking several blocks from an event that I often have a hard time finding my car at the grocery store which is one lot directly in front of the store. (This is a slight exaggeration... I sometimes have a 'ermahgerd where did I park in this time?' moment while walking one row over from where I actually parked.)

That wasn't the 'weird thing': As I was saying, doing a good job of not running into people. Eight foot wide group of people walking in the same direction at the same pace. I looked to my right for a few steps. Down the street. Making sure I am going the right way. I heard an 'excuse me.' not an angry one, more of a 'sorry about that' mixed with a smile. I quickly stopped and looked slightly left then turned back a little. Girl that tried to cut cross-ways through the thick mob of people, who were going one direction, was right there. My forehead just over my left eye gently touched just next to her right. Only a quick moment in time, but it was what I will call: The least-awkward unintentional complete stranger hug ever. It lasted about two full seconds and we were both smiling. I felt her breath on my face. There were fireworks... (well not literally that second. But, statistically speaking, there easily could have been.) And then she was gone. If you ask me what she looked like or even what she was wearing... all I could say is her eyes were brown.

It felt so normal that I wondered whether she did it on purpose. Then I think "Why would she have?" Which leads a list of answers: She is single and wanted my attention. On a dare or bet. Pick-pocket artist, but failed this attempt. There were more, but can't remember them now. Sure it was an accident. How does one get an accidental hug better than 96.5% of the intentional ones through their lifetime?
Thursday, July 3rd, 2014
7:03 am
$1000 in karma points?
I wasn't going to go back this far in the story, but seems relevant. Three weeks ago The Muse asked for a ride from Detroit... Must have been Sunday because I said "I am out at 7." Some guy said he was there, and on his way here. I saw Shot Caller one day and gave her a hug. Never did that before. She was different. I like her better now.
Last week. (Do good things.)
Monday: I was working in Hell. It isn't that bad, should probably re-name it now. I had to paint. went in three hours early with a plan. Whole job in one day, as requested. Prepped the area where evening customers were going to be first. Power-painter was missing a piece and made a huge mess. Ended up rolling it and only getting that area done just in time for the league. [Totally not a part of this story. Should mention Two Face actually came out to look at the power painter. I had never used it, he was the one who had been at our center. He was about to leave. I offered him $20 to help clean up. He didn't help much, but he did take time out of his day off to come out. Paid him for not being an asshole.]

Tuesday: went back and finished the other half. Took about five and a half hours. GM Lady offered to continue to pay as much over-time as I wanted Wednesday. (Show up any amount of time between 8AM and 10PM.) Just to paint.

Wednesday: The Muse asked if anyone would take her to Detroit. Someone told her "Get ready for a lot of guys you may or may not even know to say 'I will because I'm conveniently heading to Detroit to get some lunch' all this in an attempt to get a number." (which is why I added the first part, not sure if there was a reason for this comment.)

I said "I am heading to Detroit to get some lunch... I lost your number, message me." then sent her a message saying "I do have the day off with no plans." After a real polite conversation I went out to clean my car. I had two hours to get ready to take her, and the drop-top got a little rained in. (I was told by Baby Mama that it smelled like wet-dog and beef jerky. I am not going to write about that, but she needed a ride and I practically had to drag her into taking one. Waiting for her Ex to pick her up. He was never going to come. We were done for the day and Ass Man still has no car.) Neighbor saw me cleaning my car and wondered what was up. Supposed to rain again. I was burning incense with the top up, and had baking soda on the floor, while washing the outside. Then put the top down and vacuumed the powder. (The day it was rained in, I washed the seat covers and powdered & vacuumed everything.)

Got a little lost finding her granny's house. Luckily some nice girls on the street pointed out where the street was. I would have been super late. Three hour drive to Detroit felt like a half hour. The Muse actually said my car smelled nice... which is why I mentioned the opposite statement from the week before. Drove 340 miles in 6 hours with the top down. Usually feel burned out after a drive like that. Felt like less than an hour. Or, actually, like a dream because didn't feel like I did anything. Cost me just over $50. When she messaged me with a "Thank you for bringing me, I owe you." I told her I didn't feel she owed me anything. Really glad that she feels like she does, though. Only a complete bitch wouldn't.

This week. (Good things happen.)
Tuesday: I wake up to 'an urgent call' from the guy I replaced the alternator for. He asked if I wanted to buy his new battery because he was selling his car for $300 and the battery was worth more than 1/3 of that. At first I was like "I have a stack of batteries." then realized that none of them are for my Ford and it needs one. He asked what I would give him for a $120 new battery. I said "how about I replace your alternator twice and battery cables for free." I was still in bed and tired, but it was true. He asked for, and I gave him, $20 for it. He said he still owes me.

Since I was up, I went to return bottles. My neighbor is from the south. He doesn't return bottles. Lately instead of throwing them out he has been leaving them behind my house. Normally mid day Tuesday there isn't anyone in the bottle return. There were a few people. I got up there and some people that only had a couple bottles put them in my cart and left. Machine stopped and said the bin was full. Guy at the other machine said he only had one left and put it in my cart. Man comes out of the back and said there were no more bins. Machine was down until a truck comes... more people gave me their bottles. (At 10 cents each, this adds up. Only a few bucks, but worth mentioning because it is a rare occurrence around here. People usually give a bottle or two to other people instead of waiting in line for 20 cents. Never had my cart filled back up after putting $2.50 worth in the machine before)

Wednesday: Hung out with my neighbor again. He had a guy working on his house. I made lunch for my family and the neighbor. (Just realized last week I got hot-dogs, Doritos, and watermelon for us and him and his son too.) He gave me a sub-woofer for my living room stereo. He is paying his worker's labor ($600.) to re-pipe my house and install the water heater I have been putting off. And, he said he has a front fender for the Jaguar that hit a deer. Also, that he could help fix some minor things on the Jag.

This is way longer than I thought it would be. Plan was to write: "I did a nice thing or two. I got $1000 in goods and services that I didn't ask for, but needed."
Monday, June 23rd, 2014
1:46 am
House next door.
We lived here ten years. I never talked to the lady that lived to our left. Not really even a wave. House is real close, but our porch and door face away from it. From the back yard the fence blocks it. Easy to forget it is there.

Last year different people moved in. This year I was hanging out with my neighbor on the other side... which I should write about. Been doing that a lot off and on. Anyway, we noticed that this was a different lady. The people that were there last year disappeared and new people came without us noticing. Happens a lot in this neighborhood. We went and talked with her for a few minutes.

Last week I was in my yard with our rabbit. I have been taking him out to eat the big weeds. Not that I am too cheap to buy vegetables for him, he just acts like he never gets enough. He seems to enjoy running around the yard and picking out his own leafy plants. Really likes dandelions and clover. He did that thing where he stands on his back legs real still. Eyeballing a hole in the fence. Then just jumped through. They hadn't cut their grass in a long time, he found himself a weed the size of a small rabbit. I am sure it was delicious. Lady was in the yard with her kid. We talked about the rabbit over the fence for a minute before I went over there. The normal 'yes it is a pet, not wild, lives in the house, age, name, etc.'

So, basically, I talked with this lady more in a few weeks than anyone else that had lived there totaling ten years.

Saturday: The Girl is in Europe. The wife was out. I had to go to work. I called The Wife to ask if she planned on ever coming home. She thought I had to go to work at 7, not 5. I said "That was yesterday, I have to leave in fifteen minutes." The boys are cool, but I wasn't about to leave them alone. Especially since there were about seven people next door and I didn't want them to notice and report it.

There were four people painting and a few people inside. I asked if the lady that lived there was there. Guy told me he was the owner (people living there rent) and asked what I needed... I told him I was hoping to talk to the lady because I knew she had a kid. We went inside. I told the owner and his wife about my wife running late and I had to go to work.

Just before I told them what was going on new lady came up and said "Oh hi." real neighborly like we know each other. Just after I told them what was going on Guy said "No problem, we will keep an eye on them" and his wife said "I lived here for ten years." I wish I could describe the tone.
Sunday, June 15th, 2014
4:18 am
Transfer to hell?
December 7th 2008. A girl kept playing Daniel Powter Bad Day on the jukebox. I smiled bigger every time. Someone asked why I was in such a good mood. I said "It is my last day here. This is the LAST 'bad day' I ever have to have."

I mentioned they have tried to get me to go over the last eight months. I stand by that. It was, and is, the right thing to do. A couple months ago they started asking me to take a shift or two there. I made it clear that I will not do that. They even tried the "we don't have hours for you here, but you can get some there." bull-shit. I said "go ahead and cut my pay, I still am not going there." Magically they realized they had hours for me.

Finally, about three weeks ago. District Manager came to my office to talk with me. I told him I don't get paid enough to go there. Decent conversation... I got an 11.4% raise starting the next week. Just to do one shift there weekly and on my terms. All I could think was "Crap, now I have to go." Stressed the crap out. Couldn't eat nor sleep right all week.

Optimism hit: "If I die before Monday, I won't have to go." Worst part was not knowing what they wanted. Had a start time, but no end time.

It wasn't too bad. The main thing I was asked to do involved leaving the building. Wasn't chained to it. Must have drove 40 miles during the shift. (Forgot to enter mileage when I punched out. They would have given me 50 cents per mile or whatever the current rate is.) Still feeling like junk the next week. Brain hurt, stomach burned, still couldn't eat nor sleep right. Only good thing was realizing things I might want to do before I die... but immediately getting depressed that I couldn't ever enjoy any of it because I will never feel good again. Felt like I aged 15 years in a few weeks. Got worse every day.

Last week (my second week there) GM and I were driving golf carts. Every night they have to drive them all to the cart garage to put them on the chargers. 10-15 trips. Ride up the hill in a cart with her and we both drive one down. She asked if that was my favorite part about being there. Obviously, I didn't answer that. So she asked if my issue with the place was anxiety from before. I said I am fine while I am here, I spend 90 hours per week thinking about having to come back. She reworded the same question. I told her I almost died in this building. Then showed her the scar an assured her I wasn't bull-shitting. Then told her three years later I told a GM if I don't respond to a call send someone back to make sure I am not dead. He insisted that if I screw up I deserve to die. Spent several minutes trying to get me to agree to that.

This week DM came to my center and we had another nice discussion. He didn't realize and/or forgot what happened. Said GM reminded him. I asked if they wanted me full time... he said that wasn't why he was there but they want me everywhere. But, with the raise it is fair I do once per week there. I told him I would go there full time but they still don't pay me enough. He told me if I went there FT it would be as an FM. (A salary position that gets paid hourly. Basically they can't cut my hours below 40 to save payroll, nor force me to work over 40 w/o paying me more.) I asked what the FM position would start at. He gave me some numbers. I liked the numbers.

I realized some more things. What was so bad about this place: At the time my boys were 2 & 4, I just got a $10,000/year pay cut, and they wanted me to train a guy to do the job I just got demoted from so he could be my boss. They wanted me to close one night then open the next morning twice per week. Schedule will drive you insane considering they expected me to be alone in the back the whole time.

All in all, none of my issues about the place still exist. I am going try to work through this but it gets better every day. But, after typing this my headache is coming back.
Friday, June 13th, 2014
2:54 pm
Have you ever stopped a few hours into your day to ponder "I wonder if the bartender last night noticed that I gave the $5 shot to the DJ."?
Tuesday, April 29th, 2014
12:54 am
Summer Girl.
HIMMW part 2 summer girls. No one commented, but important part of my life. Just tagged it, so if I did that right... then please read that first. I should probably re-tell it, but I just read what I wrote and am not sure how I could improve it.

Left out how it ended. One day she got in the back of a car. Never saw nor heard from her again. That was about 20 years ago. I went to the cabins one more time without her. They wouldn't tell me anything other than 'she was sick' which I figured was a lie. My dad sold the cabins and moved to Florida. Her grandma died. Interweb didn't exist yet. You know.

Looked her up at random a few times. Sites all want money and offer info on people that probably aren't the right person. Even friended someone with what the other sites hinted was her married name only to find out it wasn't her.

Ermahfriggingerd! I sent a girl with her name a friend request on Friday. It was her, and she had thought about looking for me... just could not remember my last name at all. Sickening thing is that a year and eight months ago I sent her a message asking if she was the right one out of a hundred people with that name. FB hides messages from non-friends in a vault. I wasn't ready then. The last six months of my life needed to happen first.

She would like to see me again. I am ready now. I always believed that seeing her again would be at the risk of ruining good memories. Most of those memories are gone now. Getting them back slowly. Few things I have gotten from her in messages indicate she felt the same about me. Never would have guessed that.

Only two people on the planet that know this story are alive. Her & me. I needed to tell someone. Can't tell anyone. I was going to tell one person tonight over a game of pool. Bartender Girl told me that he called the bar and said he couldn't make it. More on all of this later.
Wednesday, April 16th, 2014
11:25 pm
New Ass Man.
I am not a brown-nose. I do my job for the sake of doing my job. Not going to try to be buddies with the management the way Two Face does. Not going to suck-up either. I wrote about giving New Ass Man rides home. He always wants to stop somewhere. At first this made me nervous. Not supposed to spend time with management outside of work. Especially at a bar. The whole 'favoritism' thing.

I was never sure if he was using me to get information, or if he just didn't have any friends. Might have been both. He isn't from here, his fiance lives across the state, and he lives alone. Sundays I have been taking him to get food at Uccellos and Tuesdays to a sports-bar downtown to shoot pool. Started to do both on Sundays. At first it was a chore I really didn't want to do. I don't mind giving rides, but I don't want to talk about work. Especially with someone I should be careful what is said with.

I don't really have any guy friends anymore. If a guy is calling me he probably wants me to help him work on something. My neighbor is cool. Might hang out with him a bit when he comes back. He isn't consistently around. It is really nice to have a guy to shoot pool with after work. Sucks that it is management. It is weird. He told The Oracle that he really likes me and asked her if I act the same drunk as sober... which sounded to me like he was trying to figure out if I was always drinking? Not sure. Seems like he is trying to be my friend. Not even talking about work related stuff. Asking me about doing stuff on my days off even.

He likes my work-ethic too. Work comes first, then helping others with their work, then if everything is done find something else to do. He really dislikes Two Face. I told him "Two Face said he wasn't here to make friends. I said 'I am not either, but life is better if you like the people you work with.' You have to spend about 2000 hours a year with these people. You don't have to hate your job. Why would you want your co-workers to hate you?" I look forward to going to work. I really do.

Sunday before last they wouldn't let us in Uccellos because he didn't have his ID. Which came up another time and they let him in jut put an M on his hand. Then once they let us in w/o IDs because they recognized us. I go there a lot. Last Sunday he asked if there was a place that had food and a pool table. When no one was around I called Gippers. A place I used to go. Lady was nice. We could use someone like that. People answer our phone and just answer questions, she tried to make me want to go there. I asked how late they serve food and whether they had pool tables. She said it was appetizers only after 11. I said we weren't out until after 11, she quickly said she could probably swing us a sandwich. Just not a steak or anything like that.

The place was dead. It was just us, and a few guys that were probably staying at the hotel next door. I can see why she wanted anyone who called to come there. I told Ass Man this is like hanging out in my basement but with a bartender and a chef. The big bar was closed, the small bar is in a relatively small room. Around the corner there is another room with two pool tables end to end. Two Foosball tables. Keno station. Couple of flat screen TVs. Not sure what it is called... next to the pool tables... really long table with sand on it that you push small pucks on. Table shuffle board? I have seen others like it. Tried to play it, but seriously suck at it. OH AND what makes it awesome? Whole room is a chalk board. People write stuff on the walls and ceiling. Never gets erased. Things to read and notice forever. Look for something you may have written years ago. Something on the ceiling was dated 2012, for example. Also, unlimited free peanuts. Type of place people throw shells on the floor all day. I don't, but there are shells all over that they sweep up at close.
Not sure if I wrote about this. I think I did. Around the time he started Kitchen Girl told me that she told him we were dating. Not sure if she actually did. I referred to her as my girlfriend and he didn't really say anything. The day I brought her the shake I was in front of the counter talking with him about something. She came up and started talking with him... looking back it was odd that I was on that side of the counter, but more odd that she was too. She stopped talking to him, looked at me and gave me a really long awesome hug (which I mentioned too many times.) This probably gave him the impression that we were actually dating. I asked her to go to Uccellos with us after work. She waited two hours after her shift talking with me. That was the first time I took him, and apparently the first time she had been there. I bought her a pizza and a long-island. [Timeline reference: Remember the Christmas Party post? This was the last day I ever saw those two bartenders.]

I already wrote about it, but the time he asked if Kitchen Girl and I were fighting because I didn't ask her to go... was a week or two after this, I believe. I really should take notes as things happen. If I wrote everything every day it would get confusing. Need to observe a situation for months and tell the story as a whole.
Whole point of this is that I like this guy as a friend, but he can't possibly last as a manager. He is cool to work for because he doesn't ask for much, if anything. He knows I will get stuff done on my own. He requests small projects and likes the fact that he only has to ask. Doesn't have to tell me what specifically to do or go over details. I look at it, note what materials and tools I need, buy the materials (if needed), get it done quickly and move on. That is what is annoying about Two Face. Ask him to do something and you have to talk about it for hours. Just get it done.

Sadly I look forward to that game of pool. If he ever moves or gets his car fixed, I will miss it. And, "No, I have no idea if that is the real reason he doesn't drive, nor carry an ID all the time." He doesn't drink at the bar either. Plays a lot of Keno. Losing his license makes more sense than his 'putting off car repairs to pay for a house' story.
12:18 pm
This changes everything.
The other day I was outside with New Jamaican Counter Guy and Kitchen Girl. Over the last few weeks he said stuff about her, but it was always the same thing. I'll get to that later.
I actually mentioned this in a post once. Ended up hiding the post because it seriously needed to be re-written. Almost left this out completely because I thought it wasn't important. The conversation included someone saying she was fat but she didn't care, she was going to eat the chili cheese fries anyway. In the middle of that I told her she wasn't fat. If I bring back that post as a flashback, you will see why the whole conversation was mono-tone. Much bigger thing going on in this situation. First real notable encounter with Kitchen Girl that changed everything and got us to where we were.

I have gotten three hugs from this girl. New Years Eve I pulled her to me. It was like one of those 'we are pretending there is a chair between us hugs. Arms are around each others back, but not really touching anywhere else. like the letter A. Birthday hug was in my office and about the same, but I think I had machine parts on the floor. I was building stuff. Between those two there was a day that I brought her a shake. The night before she mentioned wanting one, but the place is closed when she gets out of work and she doesn't have much money. I planned to bring her one the next day. Then got a message from her asking me to bring her one because she was having a bad day. F'ing mind reader, she is. I later got the best hug of my life in front of the guy I planned to write about next. She fit. We were like two puzzle pieces that always belonged together.

The past pictures of her were a little round. She occasionally mentions being fat. Usually when she is in a grumpy mood. I always insist she isn't. I always figured 'maybe it is just her loose shirt, pretty eyes, wicked smile, and/or soft hair distracting me from it.' because I wasn't seeing it. One day (months ago) in the bar she wasn't in the mood for me, not my fault. I had to be there for other reasons. She said it, I said she wasn't. She said it again, I said somewhat angrily "Stop it, you are not fat. At all." This was in front of a lot of people we work with. No one else had been responding to her statement.
So, as I said, we are standing outside. Kitchen girl mentioned she at one point got really anorexic. Jamaican counter guy said she did. This is the point where I realized that they had actually known each other before we worked together. They are the same age. Had no idea. Also, changed my whole idea of what was actually happening when she said she was fat. Really wasn't often enough for me to even think about, nor mention before. Always like a minor few second thing once in a great while.

Can't describe how this feels. Girl really needed to hear that she wasn't fat. No one else in her life seemed to catch it. Yes, I do this all the time... but the reason she was saying it was not at all what I had thought it was. Need to rethink a lot of what had gone on over the last several months. Along with what Jamaican Counterguy was trying to tell me. I think he may have been testing me for her. To see what my response to his 'I would bang her' comment would be.
Tuesday, April 15th, 2014
10:26 am
The Wife.
Last several posts sound horrible. 'What about your wife' is a phrase I have heard a lot of lately. I recently realized how this all started.

Months ago. Probably last Fall even. Not sure how it came up but I mentioned that I had women trying to take me home all the time. She made some kind of "Oh, really?" comment. Like she didn't believe it. I told her about the girl that got angry with me because I wouldn't take her to my office and have my way with her. I was being mean because she had needs. Never seen this girl before, never seen her again. I told her about the customers that ask for things that they don't need, just to talk to me. Gets obvious some time before the third or fourth random question. Told her about the girl that insisted that I talk to her about pricing. Kept telling her I am maintenance and don't do that, but ended up doing it anyway. She was persistent. At the time I wasn't sure if she wanted to talk to me, or just really didn't want to talk to the other guy.

After telling her all this... she started treating me better. After years of being treated like junk. Being treated like some guy that lives in the same house and occasionally ends up in the same bed at the same time. Someone to clean up after her all the time. I was getting treated like a guy she was competing for. Like she was lucky to have me. Like someone she wanted to be with.

As time went on I told her more things about women at work. Pretty much everything I had been writing about. Kept getting treated better. Guess, at some point I started flirting with girls just for attention. I get the attention, I get confidence, I feel awesome. The Wife treats me better every time.

Now that I figured out why I have been doing it, all the fun has been sucked out of it. Don't really feel like it as much. I hope that answers anyone's possible "what about your wife?" questions that they were afraid to ask.
Monday, April 14th, 2014
2:25 pm
Take one for the team.
I mostly only see Nameless Girl on Thursdays now. I only see Redheaded Bartender on Saturdays. I mainly see Big V Friday through Sunday and every-other Thursday night at Woodies. On Saturday she leaves before I see Redheaded Bartender.

So, basically, we all know that we all know each other. But, we don't see each other with each other. If that makes sense? Big V has never really seen me interact with Redheaded Bartender.
Saturday at the beginning of my shift I somehow ended up with Big V in the parking lot. Side of the building I don't normally go out. She started to tell me "Nameless Girl has a problem with Redheaded Bartender. She rubbed her the wrong way. Over a guy they are fighting over, but he isn't interested in Nameless girl anyway and Redheaded Bartender say they are just friends." I said "You mean Mr Player." she seemed surprised that I knew about him, which isn't surprising since she probably never seen me interact with him at all.

Instead of listening to what she was getting at, I took over completely. "She rubbed me the wrong way." I said in a dirty way. She was like 'ew gross.' I was very talkative for a change and told her "I said 'gurl, you keep rubbing on me I just might turn around'" Big V was like 'WTF?' "She said I wouldn't." I went on to tell her: What kind of self esteem issue do you have that you think I wouldn't take you into a closet? I kept telling her I might, she kept saying I wouldn't. She thinks she is so gross that I wouldn't 'hit that'? That is just sad. So I told her "Don't tell me what I wouldn't do. You don't know me, you don't know what I been through, 22 year old girl be rubbin' on me like that I just might take her in a closet." Most girls get tired of being treated that way, she likes it. She doesn't get it. She wants it.

Big V was silent. I touched her elbow with the back of my hand, looked in the side of her eye (she was looking at the building next to ours, there was a concert being set up) and asked "Am I a horrible person?" She said "No spot." In a way that I could tell she understood that I wasn't being dirty, rather it was actually good of me to act that way. I think I changed Big V's opinion of Redheaded Bartender from "Bitch shouldn't flirt with Mr Player" to understanding "She will do it because he will give her that attention. Why, on earth, should she turn it down?"
Saturday, April 5th, 2014
4:51 am
Thursday and Friday.
Thursday day: Talked with my neighbor. Finally put pice-tag on the Jag over the last couple weeks. Got the cash together, re-worked the deal a few times. The deal: A bit of cash. The title to the Grand Prix that I got for $350. The title to the car The Wife has been driving which we got for $500 from her grandma. He gets the power-steering pump repaired. He helps with the minor body repairs. I got it for basically half of blue-book.

I asked him if he wanted to go to the bar with the girls. He said he did.

Thursday night: I asked the girls if they were going. I didn't feel like it, but knew I could get in the mood quickly. They said since last week was a little boring, they were only going to do it if I had asked. But, they were actually planning on going for dinner anyway.

Neighbor called just before I left. Said he couldn't go, but we would exchange titles and everything in the morning.

When I got there Big V, Gold Digger, Girl I Really Should Have Named But Never Thought She Would Be This Major Roll In My Life And Her Name Gets Longer Every Time, and The Oracle were sitting at the same table. On a small note it was a tall table on the first and third week. For some reason it was a short table the middle week. Weird. DJ Chick and Scott weren't there. No one liked Replacement DJ.

Just checked, and I never mentioned The Waitress. The first week I didn't order anything from her at all. Woodys has multiple bars. I Got a Founders at one bar because the girls were there a little late. Later got a Rum and Coke from another bar. Got shots of Tequilla for me and Oracle's Brother's Ex (by her request) from yet another bartender. Waitress wasn't sure if I should get anything. I did that thing where I look at a waitress' shoes and ask real sweet. She brought me the Long Island. Second week. Same Waitress. Got everything from her. Still flirted mostly for the sake of getting better service.

The Waitress came over to ask what I wanted. They don't have any good Sam Adams. They stopped carrying Founders. Ended up asking for a Labbats and Chili Dogs. This was the first time I had asked for food. She noticed. She said she hadn't taken food orders at the table yet and would bring drinks first. Put in the food order a little while later.

First beer was almost gone before the food came. Second beer came with the food. While later she brought me another beer. I was about to ask for one, but she had it. I asked if I asked for that one, she said she never brought me the second one. I said "O.K." Told Big V the waitress was flirting with me.

At some point The Oracle told The Waitress she was a stripper at her other job. She also told her I was her manager. Didn't think about it until the next day but she might have been implying that I was a pimp. Waitress looked at me and asked if it were true. Thinking she meant manager at work I said "naw, I am the maintenance technician."

Girls were being boring. Kept being on their phones. When I got there Gold Digger asked if I would dance. I said "no, I don't dance." they told me I dance. I got just drunk enough to dance with the one girl there I don't like at all. At some point they started taking pictures. I always hated getting my picture taken. This night I got in a few. I put my arm around The Waitress and told Nameless Girl to take a pic. She had Gold Digger's phone.

Again, everyone disappears at the same time. I am left with Big V. We paid our tabs, and The Waitress walked away. I had to have her break a C-note because it was all I had having taking out cash for the car. Also needed to break it to get the car. I told Big V "Go find out if The Waitress would let me take her home." then got up and went to the restroom. When I came back they were both over at the waitress station. Didn't question until the next day whether she was actually about to do it. I went over there and got my change and gave her a tip. Before this Big V had nothing but coins and I told her I would tip for both of us. I looked at my $80-something in change and asked what do I want to do? (I left out I always asked her what I want before telling her. She never answers. Just waits patiently.) Gave her some cash. Not sure if it was good amount.

Near end of the night I followed The Waitress away from the table. When we stopped at the bar I asked if she was OK with the picture. She didn't know what I was talking about. I told her 'the picture of us if it were to end up online is she OK with it.' She asked "you mean FB?" I said that would be the way they send it to me and I would try to make it disappear if she wanted me to. She told me she didn't know, no one has done it. I asked "No one posted any, or no one asked first." She told me no one takes pictures with her. I said "I find that hard to believe because you are cute." She said "Awwwe." I asked "What do you mean Awe? You didn't know that? You real cute." She said I was really nice and she would appreciate not having a bunch of people see it, but after the way I was talking with her said she was OK with it. (Really wish I weren't too shy to have conversations like this most of my life. Glad I had this one.)

This was a night where so much happened that I couldn't possibly tell all the details and still have them be read. Spent all day talking about random stuff, and the same thing never came up twice.

Friday: Took care of titles and everything. Told the neighbor about Woody's. He regretted not going. It really wasn't that interesting, but for me I loved every second of it. He came to my bar that night, like he said he might. A bunch of stuff happened but most of it involved me telling stories of Thursday. Sure some of it will be part of other posts. Glad it wasn't like the first 'Friday after' where I was worried which parts of the story were told. Everyone expected it enough that nothing was really a surprise.
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